1. Stop reading this post
2. Grow up ya buncha babies

OK, now that we are down to the "adults", I got something to say.

Who the hell likes winter???  Show of hands???  Bill, put down your damn hand you dork!!  I freakin hate winter.  Want to know why?????  Well I'm telling you anyway.  I hate F'ing winter because it just knocked down my beautiful tree.  Yep.  The son of a bitch ice storm, along with the gale-force winds brought down the Sal Pad.  Hell, I almost ended up in Bill's house.  Talk about making a bad situation even worse.

Here's how it happened.  Thursday night I am all nestled away in my pad, warming my nuts, if you know what I mean.  My animal instinct told me that the weather was going to be nasty....that and the sheets of ice I could hear hitting my mutha puss bucket tree.  I figured, who cares?  I am in one of the biggest, tallest trees around.  What could possibly go wrong????

Next morning, as I start to awake from my sleep, I noticed the tree swaying a lot.  Yea, the wind was strong, but I figured it would pass as it has every other time.  Unfortunately, this wasn't every other time.  Just when the winds kicked up a big gust, the f'ing tree starts to fall!!  I just about crapped my fur.  And it was falling toward Billy Boy's house.  It hit the roof and west wall, then slid down the wall.  By the time it was done, I was covered with nuts.  My place hadn't shook like that since the gray squirrel across the street stopped by for some Sal time.  Swing, baby.

Well, within minutes, Bill is ouside shaking his head....and that idiot mongrul Spike has come out from his dog house to start barking.  Nice job, you dumb mutt.

Needless to say, I have had to pack my nuts and move to another tree.  So, in the coming weeks, I may be posting about my new digs.  Then again, I may just post the f-bomb 300 times.  Haven't made up my mind yet.

Anyway, I need to split.  Got some nut warming to do.

Until later.....Sal is signing out.

PS:  Did I mention that winter can bite my ass?????