First off, I want to thank everyone for their thoughts on my topics. I am firing up the old blogging engine and getting ready to tear into the list. I decided to play to my strengths for the first topic, hence the "Blob". However, before beginning, I have some housekeeping to take care of.....
= Tame, not much graphic detail. Family and weak stomach friendly
= Some gross quality, still relatively light
= Proceed with some caution. There will be some "colorful" description. Still some restraint.
= CL, do NOT read. This story will paint a clear and vivid picture of an event/visual in the potty. Very little if any restraint used in describing.
And now.......
THE BLOB
On day #2 of my 3 day meeting marathon last week, I decided to stop off at Taco Bell for lunch. I needed some fresh air...but didn't have a lot of funds. South of the border is always a cheap lunch. I got the normal three taco supremes(crunchy) and a bean burrito. Tasted pretty good. However, in retrospect, the burrito was my downfall.
About an hour into the afternoon session I started having those little silent "tooters" that you figure you can slip out without a notice. Unfortunately, what are usually non-toxic tooters proved to be SBD(Silent But Deadly) tooters. After a couple, I decided to excuse myself and head for the...head.
As I walk into the bathroom, and pick an open stall, I am met with a stool so abused, so full, and with such a strong odor that I can barely stand it. It resembled an oil slick. Of course, I somehow find the strength and courage to overcome the environment...and decide to see if a flush will help eliminate it.
I know what your thinking..."Bill, didn't you learn from a past experience that flushing "a topper" is a bad idea???" Yes, but since there was no one in there, and I didn't think I could take care of my business (I really really needed to go) without getting rid of some of the smell, I decided to roll the dice.
So, much like a cop kicking down a crack house door, I push the stall's door open with my foot, then continue to move the foot over to the toilet's handle. I kept my foot on the handle for several seconds to try and maximize the efforts flush. Virtually nothing happens....until one huge brown bubble begins forming in the middle of the "blob". Looked much like the opening sequence of Beverly Hillbillies when Jed shoots and hits the "black gold". To my amazement, no water moved...but the bubble kept growing.
After a few seconds of amazement, fear struck me. I decided to get the heck out of there before the bubble exploded. I scrambled and found another bathroom...and passed the burrito, seemingly in its entirety.
Later, I noticed an "under construction" sign outside the Blob's home. I am guessing folks in hazardous waste suits with lasers had to go in and kill the beast.
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